Yesterday was incredible!! Firstly I got lost which was frustrating. All these roads look exactly the same! In fact, I have to leave soon and I STILL don’t think I know the way! Uh oh!
But on a better note, we headed off to Julian Middle School to lead a workshop for extremely hyperactive 11-14 year olds! It was so much fun, gettin in groups and teaching them how to write poetry in the shortest space of time. Reading a young guy’s work, I felt like I was in Freedom Writers or something lol! But I’m realising the struggles and pressures young people face are so universal, and with the way many of them have seen death in the face, leaves them questioning life and pretty fearful. That was my groups piece title; ‘I am scared’.
In less than a few hours I was up on a stage in front of 400 of them hosting a showcase, so aware of my accent, which sounds more posh than anything ! But it was seriously fun! Watching our groups perform pieces they’d just put together and hearing them feedback on the session was one of the most rewarding things I’d ever done. Just a simple thing, like a kid saying how sad they are you’re leaving, or how nice they think you are, I can’t even explain how it feels to know I made a difference! :)

I’m not an idiot.
With self esteem as high as my english grades
but today i’m found smoothing innocent fingers over a silk sheet of deceit
airbrushing my better judgement
page 24. curves are in.
bathing suits to suit the abstract figure of fat
the zero percent bodied princess.
like she, caressing my eyes on the cover.
curves are in, but they’d never be a headliner
or they’d be hidden amongst yesterday’s newspaper
not to be sold today.
or ever.
the irony of celebrity diets.
thought weight loss was optional but metabolism is a mystery
scolding calories for a definition.
curves aren’t in. who are they kidding?!
the obvious knowledge of phony girls in the pictures
whose mornings hide from the camera
the double life of a fraternal model.
i don’t usually care.
but i’m an artist all over my face
stretching my eyelashes and cementing my skin
amazing what a black line under an eye can do
embarrassed by our natural selves, we blush at the dab of a brush
the permanent fashion trend of a dolly
polka dotted acne, out.
leopard print blemishes, out
the cutest bags, worn under the eye, out.
i’m unfashionable.

presents shouldn’t be opened on Christmas Eve.
I’ll wait until my wedding day.
i am so fed up with skipping pages, to dodge past their lies.
told exactly how to pummel my amplified lashes.
the fixed second to pour a laugh unto his ego.
handcuff my fingers from texting him, I sit and wait for HIS call.
they told me to.
‘25 things you do that guys secretly love’
Being me wasn’t one of them.

see, we protest against their orders, but pay their salary.
Vow we long to be unique
but thirst after their stale advice.
can’t stand on our beautiful feet, so we wear footless tights.
just as they said, skinny jeans on fat legs.
the suffocating fashion of today.

not enough fabric to cover the skin,
but enough to cover the sparkle
until we’re all invisible
because they’re just cloning women
and next year we’ll appreciate unnatural beauty more than ever.
see, i’m really not an idiot
with self esteem as high as my english grades,
i’m an ANTM expert
specialist in the secrets of lies
but i’m still found smoothing innocent fingers over a silk sheet of deceit.
Airbrushing my better judgement.